Sleeplessness Personified

She sat up straight and rubbed the back of her neck, cracking it, so as to fight the stubborn stiffness that refused to let go of her body. But oh, how stubborn it had become with time, didn’t even flinch anymore. It wasn’t only her soul that reeked of stubbornness.

Aunt Sleep had refused to caress her, yet another night. And she was already done with the tossing and the turning by then. Now, it wasn’t new to her, the sleep-deprived state. Seemed like moody Aunt Sleep was still mad at her for ditching her every now and then. Poor girl! She had now become accustomed to the staring-at-the-ceiling phase.

The thoughts however, all the million numbered ones, decided to accompany her, each of those nights. Yes, uninvited. How she wished she could kill them. But all she could do every night was put up a good fight and struggle to bury them in the back of her head, alive. Only if thoughts were mortals too.

She stretched her arms, indecisive of how to spend another two hours before the warm rays of the glorious sun graced her wintry balcony. Suddenly the clock seemed to have stopped. Wait, the balcony? Oh yes, the balcony! She could go out the door and sit there, staring at the stillness of the stolid branches, soaking in the positivity from her luminous little winking friends up above. She got up and wrapped the cozy blanket around her, ready to gaze at another, in harmony. But first, coffee.

She made herself some, black and strong, poured them into her big wide mug and walked across the hall, towards open air. She opened the door and stepped out onto the balcony. It was freezing cold. She hugged her blanket tighter and wrapped her icy fingers around her hot mug of survival while she sat down on the glacial chair. Still shivery, she looked up. The luminous ones winked at her with joy. After all, she was accompanying them at this hour after ages. They had missed their 3 am friend. Tonight was going to be all chatty it seemed. Their slience and her eyes – it were going be two very long hours. So much catching up to do. So many stories, so many nights, numerous kisses and a thousand fights , the late night walks, the long distance calls, the leaps of faith, the oh-so-hard falls , the unfixable heartbreaks, the unexpressed words – yet to be told, yet to be heard.

The night didn’t seem so tedious anymore. She geared up to make up for all the nights she had missed. Only if the moon hadn’t been so distant. Again, her bad. She had been behind her walls for way too long for the moon to understand. She didn’t know how to explain but gave it a try and two. She saw the moon peeping from behind the grey blob of cloud and going back, all the more sulky. Maybe it’s going to take more than a night to convince the moon. Maybe that’s what it wants and hence acting all resentful. She made a mental note to try again the next night.

Those two hours belonged to the luminaries then.Taking a baby sip, she looked at them, all ready to soak in their sparkle, one wink at a time.

~ Sana Mishra

#sleepless #solitary #lonesome #blogpost

Hey guys! I have been away for so long now that even WordPress went, “Who there?” on me when I logged in. But I am back this time for good, or so I guess. Will be doing a lot of reading and a little of writing as of now. All of your posts, all of the beautiful blogs, I have missed them so much. Will try catching up on as much as I can. Hope you people are doing great. Keep writing, keep inspiring! šŸ™‚


A world to live in..
A dream to catch..
Words to live by..
Characters to snatch..

From cover to cover..
As pages we turn..
Some hopes we imbibe..
Some memories we burn..

We try not to judge
A book by it’s cover..
The thought fails to count..
The profile succeeds to hover..

The surrealism is bliss..
Other worlds sway and drift..
Round the speaker’s muse..
Our minds fairly orbit..

Throughout till The End..
The labyrinthine maze evolves..
From our brain-boxes..
Ourselves, it absolves..

The intricacies engulf us..
We know not what they imply..
Towards it or away –
Where realism applies..

Some words we try to live by..
Some characters we try and snatch..
A Book is a world we live in –
A dream we try to catch..!

                              ~ Upasana Mishra

Probably a very late post, but wish you all a very happy World Book Day!!!

My first eBook

My first ever eBook – The Moon-kissed Hustle (a collection of poems) – has been published. I won’t promise you a solid 200-300 pages long-read, it’sā€‹ a rather small collection. All I hope is it reaches out to people, to you. 

It’s out on Kindle store. I hope you guys read it, and give me feedbacks on how you liked it or didn’t. šŸ™‚

I know I haven’t been into blogging, since long. I was wound up (and a bit lazy :p ) . I promise to try and keep the pieces coming. 

Thank you. 

~ Upasana Mishra


ā€‹..and then it struck me – am I past that phase? – of a ‘New-year-New-beginning’ or a ‘New-year-New-me’? 

For the first time in my twenty-something years, there was no sign of exhilaration.

Not that I didn’t do the ‘happpyyy-newww-yeaarrrr’ bout at midnight, just that it didn’t give me the adrenaline rush this time. There was no yearning to ‘do-something’ on the Eve. All there was, was the pinch of accountability that said, “Atleast be a sport for the people around you..”. And that’s what I did – an enactment of exuberance.  

  No, nothing lamentable has touched me over the days. Maybe I’ve become emotionally insensate, or maybe simply numb; and for a change – this numbness feels good. 

Way too many people spend the day doing nothing on the Eve, every year. But when it comes to ‘me’ doing nothing, I know what that means – things are changing. Things are changing way too fast. Should it scare me?


“But it didn’t. Rather I felt nothing, nothing remarkable to explicate or comprehend.” 

There used to be days when “let’s-do-this” used to stir me up. There used to be days when I fancied ‘going-out’ and ‘having-a-Day’ like all the other people out there. There were days when…Well, what happened?

“But you still had it for Christmas..”

“No, I had it for food, the ‘Day’ just fell along..”

“Then maybe you just grew up?” 

“Yeah.. Maybe..”

“And maybe now you luxuriate in peace, rather than in ostentatious displays.”

“I guess..”

” And maybe now you know what exactly you want from life. Maybe you no more want to just ‘fit-in’. Maybe you’ve just stopped shaping yourself according to the vessel. Maybe you’ve just started loving yourself as you are – the ‘real’ You?”

“Well, yeah, I no more feel obligated towards the pompous displays of the world. I sure am up for the relishments of life, but in my own little ways. Maybe I am in rhythm with my soul, finally.”

“I know, right?”

“Oh, what would I do without you…”

And though I can’t say anything about contemplating the whole year ahead, this little ‘Me-to-Me’ conversation pepped me up to start the day afresh. 

                               ~ sana_mishra 

(At this stage of life, I cannot envision what the new ‘Year’ to unfold for me. But I sure can pep myself up every ‘Day’ to start afresh the next day.)

P.S – Happy New Year everyone. šŸ™‚

Oh, those days are long bygone..

ā€‹When Republic day meant picnic at the zoo,

and Independence day was patriotism at school,

When Children’s day meant fun and frolic,

Oh, those days are long bygone..!!

When ‘dedicated to our teachers’ had it’s own importance,

And ‘for you, dear students’ was awaited for,

When that ice-cream cup was enough a gift,

Oh, those days are long bygone..!!

When ‘Happy Children’s day’ was still counted upon,

When ‘Mama’s Girl’ was more of a praise,

When hand-written cards were not yet lame,

Oh, those days are long bygone..!!

When sadness meant a worn out teddy,

And happiness was a chocolate from dad,

When mom’s hand was the best pillow,

Oh, those days are long bygone..!! 

When sleeping on the couch and waking up on the bed,

Was all the ‘confusion’ we had,

When ‘tired’ meant a busy play-day,

Oh, those days are long bygone..!!

When ‘stress’ was just a word for dictation,

And sex still meant ‘male’ or ‘female’,

When ‘hurt’ still meant an external injury,

Oh, those are long bygone..!!

When ‘Story time with Grandma’ was our favourite pastime,

And Grandpa was the only Google we had,

When food was measured with love, not calories,

Oh, those days are long bygone..!!

When ‘I love you’ was an honest statement,

And ‘Best Friend’ wasn’t merely a tag,

When good manners were still in trend,

Oh, those days are long bygone..!!

When “I love both” to “Mom or Dad?”,

Was the only diplomacy we ever knew,

When parents asking questions wasn’t considered interference,

Oh, those days are long bygone..!!

When a lie was still a lie,

And black and white were only colours,

When “I’m okay” didn’t have a hidden story,

Oh, those days are long bygone..!!

When our mouths spoke what our hearts felt,

And ‘Pretend’ was just a game we played,

When ‘player’ had no other meaning,

Oh, those days are long bygone..!! 

Oh those days are long bygone,

When ‘complicated’ was a tough word to learn,

When ‘ignorance is bliss’ fitted in perfectly,

Oh, those days are long bygone..!!

                    ~ Sana