She sat up straight and rubbed the back of her neck, cracking it, so as to fight the stubborn stiffness that refused to let go of her body. But oh, how stubborn it had become with time, didn’t even flinch anymore. It wasn’t only her soul that reeked of stubbornness.
Aunt Sleep had refused to caress her, yet another night. And she was already done with the tossing and the turning by then. Now, it wasn’t new to her, the sleep-deprived state. Seemed like moody Aunt Sleep was still mad at her for ditching her every now and then. Poor girl! She had now become accustomed to the staring-at-the-ceiling phase.
The thoughts however, all the million numbered ones, decided to accompany her, each of those nights. Yes, uninvited. How she wished she could kill them. But all she could do every night was put up a good fight and struggle to bury them in the back of her head, alive. Only if thoughts were mortals too.
She stretched her arms, indecisive of how to spend another two hours before the warm rays of the glorious sun graced her wintry balcony. Suddenly the clock seemed to have stopped. Wait, the balcony? Oh yes, the balcony! She could go out the door and sit there, staring at the stillness of the stolid branches, soaking in the positivity from her luminous little winking friends up above. She got up and wrapped the cozy blanket around her, ready to gaze at another, in harmony. But first, coffee.
She made herself some, black and strong, poured them into her big wide mug and walked across the hall, towards open air. She opened the door and stepped out onto the balcony. It was freezing cold. She hugged her blanket tighter and wrapped her icy fingers around her hot mug of survival while she sat down on the glacial chair. Still shivery, she looked up. The luminous ones winked at her with joy. After all, she was accompanying them at this hour after ages. They had missed their 3 am friend. Tonight was going to be all chatty it seemed. Their slience and her eyes – it were going be two very long hours. So much catching up to do. So many stories, so many nights, numerous kisses and a thousand fights , the late night walks, the long distance calls, the leaps of faith, the oh-so-hard falls , the unfixable heartbreaks, the unexpressed words – yet to be told, yet to be heard.
The night didn’t seem so tedious anymore. She geared up to make up for all the nights she had missed. Only if the moon hadn’t been so distant. Again, her bad. She had been behind her walls for way too long for the moon to understand. She didn’t know how to explain but gave it a try and two. She saw the moon peeping from behind the grey blob of cloud and going back, all the more sulky. Maybe it’s going to take more than a night to convince the moon. Maybe that’s what it wants and hence acting all resentful. She made a mental note to try again the next night.
Those two hours belonged to the luminaries then.Taking a baby sip, she looked at them, all ready to soak in their sparkle, one wink at a time.
~ Sana Mishra